


Beetlejuice: the Musical Quotes (redone)

by GothicDeetz



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Addams Family References, Best Friends, Big Bang Theory references, Danger, Dead People, Demons, F/M, Families of Choice, Family, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Ghosts, Good Demons, Mother Figures, Multi, My Little Pony References, One Big Happy Family, Play Fighting, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Step-parents, Swearing, Talking, Talking To Dead People, horseplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23755249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicDeetz/pseuds/GothicDeetz
Summary: You can find these on my tumblr blog.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Charles Deetz & Delia Deetz & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Charles Deetz & Delia Deetz & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland
Kudos: 18





	1. Lydia’s Family

Teacher: Who’s in your family, Lydia?

Lydia: My dad...

Teacher: *nods*

Lydia: My stepmom...

Teacher: *nods*

Lydia: Two ghosts...

Teacher: *stops and stares at Lydia*

Lydia: And a demon :).

Teacher: *faints*


	2. Betelgeuse Quotes Discord

Betelgeuse: What fun is there in making sense?


	3. Role playing The Big Bang Theory

Adam: Don’t let this be Bj playing the drums. Please don’t let this be Bj playing the drums. *goes downstairs into the living room*

Betelgeuse: Hello, Adam, do you like my drums? Bet you didn’t know that I had drums?

Adam: Bj, it’s three o’clock in the morning.

Betelgeuse: Three in the morning is a good time for drums.

Adam: I was sleeping.

Betelgeuse: Adam sleeps while I play the drums.

Adam: No, he doesn’t.

Betelgeuse: Adam no sleep while I play the drums. Drum solo.

Adam: Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop it!

Barbara: What the hell?

Adam: Oh, hi, honey, guess what? Bj got drums.

Barbara: Why did you get drums?

Betelgeuse: Harry Belafonte played the drums. I thought I’d give that a try.

Adam: Harry Belafonte is a famous singer and actor.

Barbara: Oh, Adam, it’s three o’clock in the morning. I don’t care if Harry Belafonte’s a Purple Leprechaun who lived in my butt.

Betelgeuse: Barbara meant if he were a Purple Leprechaun. Barbara forgot to use the subjunctive.

Adam: Bj, go to bed. You have work in the morning.

Betelgeuse: Maybe, Maybe not. Maybe tomorrow I start a rock band and tour the world.

Adam: W-w-wuh, no, no, hang on, uh, uh, roommate agreement. No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after ten p.m. 

Betelgeuse: Roommate agreement? Are you kidding? We are living in a world of chaos. Roommate agreement.

Barbara: Where are you going?

Betelgeuse: Wherever the music takes me, B-Town. *exits the room and starts walking down the stairs to the basement, drums still in hand* I play the drums walking down the stairs. *he falls down the stairs to the basement* Oh! Oh! Never play the drums walking down the stairs.


	4. Fire

Adam: *suddenly smells smoke and starts panicking* Let me guess? Lydia decided that she wanted to set herself and Betelgeuse both on fire yet again? Didn’t she?

Barbara: *enters the room and groans. She smells strongly of the smoke from the fire that was started by a snickering Lydia* Yep. She did unfortunately. I’m glad I put it out on time.


	5. Flame Thrower

Lydia: *finds a flame thrower and shows it to Betelgeuse* Hey, Bj! Check this out!

Lydia: *operates flame thrower*

Betelgeuse:

Lydia:

Barbara: *panicking* Lydia, please don’t...


	6. Toy Swords

Adam: Do you hear anything?

Barbara: No. Why?

Adam: Betelgeuse has been hanging out with Lydia in her room for four hours and neither one of them has made any noise.

Barbara: Relax, Adam, honey. I’m sure they’re fine.

Lydia: *runs into the living room, a toy sword in hand* You’ll never get me, Bj!

Betelgeuse: *laughs and points the toy sword he’s holding directly at a smirking Lydia before chasing the teen out of the living room and back upstairs* Oh yes I will, Lydia!

Adam:

Barbara:

Barbara: I spoke too soon.


	7. Lying

Betelgeuse: *points at Lydia* She stabbed me!

Lydia: You’re lying. I so did not!

Barbara: 

Barbara: Lydia!

Lydia: 

Lydia: What?!


	8. Mud

Adam: Barbara, honey, have you seen Betelgeuse and Lydia anywhere?

Barbara: I think they’re outside in the backyard.

Adam: *looks out the window looking out into the backyard*

Betelgeuse and Lydia: *throwing mud at one another*

Adam:

Adam: I don’t even want to know.


	9. Skateboarding

Betelgeuse and Lydia: *snickering and skateboarding down the stairs of the house* 

Adam:

Barbara:

Adam: Why?!


	10. House Fire

Barbara: *runs past her husband with a fire extinguisher* Honey, Lydia set the house on fire.

Adam: WHAT?! Why? I specifically told her not to do that ten days ago.

Barbara: I know you did, Adam, but she did tell you that both she and Betelgeuse had plans to do that at some point in the coming weeks. Did she not?

Adam: *nervous* She did say that she was, but I didn’t know she was being serious when she said she was going to do that.


	11. Sled

Lydia and Betelgeuse: *standing at the top of the stairs, a sled next to them* 

Barbara: Uh, Lydia? Betelgeuse? What are you guys doing?

Lydia: Nothing too dangerous, Barb. Why?

Barbara: Then what’s the sled for?

Betelgeuse: We were going to take it outside.

Barbara:

Barbara: But...it’s not snowing.

Lydia: Exactly.

Barbara:

Barbara: Ummm...


	12. Trash

Adam: Barbara, honey, can you ask Lydia to take out the trash?

Barbara: Of course. Lydia?

Lydia: *snoring*

Barbara: 

Barbara: LYDIA?!

Lydia: *wakes up* Did you need something, Barb?

Barbara: Could you take the trash out, please?

Lydia: 

Lydia: Sure.


	13. Boo!

Betelgeuse: *sneaks up behind an unsuspecting Adam and Barbara* BOO!

The Maitlands: *turn to face the demon*

Adam:

Barbara:

Barbara: Betelgeuse, what was that for?

Betelgeuse: 

Betelgeuse: Lydia wanted me to scare you.

Lydia: *excessive loud snickering in the background*


	14. Stargazing

Lydia: *looking up at the stars with Barbara* Hey, Barb?

Barbara: Hmmm??

Lydia: *points to a Red Star in the constellation “Orion”* What’s the name of that star up there?

Barbara: *sighs then chuckles to herself, rolling her eyes* Lydia, that’s Betelgeuse.

Lydia: *snickers* I’m sorry. What did you say?

Barbara: *confused* Betelgeuse?

Lydia: *snickers louder* Could you repeat that for me?

Barbara: *a little concerned, but knows exactly what Lydia’s trying to make her do* Betelgeuse?!

Lydia: *falls to the floor howling with laughter as a stunned Betelgeuse appears in the air above the two females* Got ya, Barbara. I knew what that star was called the whole time.

Barbara: 

Barbara: *places her hands on her hips* Well then, you silly girl, if you knew exactly what that star was called the entire time then why did you ask me to identify it for you?

Lydia: *high fiving Betelgeuse* I just felt like it.

Barbara:

Barbara: Oh, Lydia.


	15. Confusion

Lydia: *looking at her phone* 

Lydia: 

Lydia: It says here that Betelgeuse has been dimming and may possibly explode soon.

Betelgeuse: *gasps* I’M GOING TO EXPLODE?!

Lydia: *laughs and rolls her eyes* No, Betelgeuse, you’re not going to explode. I was talking about the star.

Betelgeuse:

Betelgeuse: Oh, okay. That makes so much more sense.


End file.
